Life of a man

the battle begins...

2007-05-26T23:48:00.000+08:00

hihi guys.. yea it's been EXTREMELY long tt i last last posted. anyway, life as usual, only the weight of the upcoming 'O's are upon all of us sec4s' shoulders.. aww pain.. aint it? haha.. dont worry ba, we can do it de! the battle begins.. muahahaha it's between how it ends, and hw it shld be.. "LET's ROCK!!"

realy, realy worried for me CL. i mean, i duno abt others, but their result seem kinda stable. no matter hw many practices i do rite, it's like my pace is still de same de. comprehension lvl is stagnant and not improving at all.. haiz. well, some others may belong in e same death trap tgt, but mebbe we shld try and believe in ourselves ba. at least mus try nt to give end-yr a chance to retake CL 'O's. so ma huan la, if u can imagine. to all viewers and frens and sec4 sch-mates, gd luk ba.. hahas jiayou!! =)

our klass...zzz.. same old story, full of DISharmony, conflicts, and so-called unjust ruler. summore our *cool* prev SS teacher kena replaced.. sianz the very.. jus enemies reinforcements have arrived.. mebbe even the animals have joined them too.. diaoz.. xP

anyway, life for me has been unprettily bleak.. zzz... abstained frm P2P downloading.. all the songs i wanna grasp canot ler.. guess i hav to rely on buying or kope-ing ler.. muahaha. comm still lags, but nt as half bad nowadays. ytd played 2 hrs gunz!! CAPITAL YAY!! woots... howeva play halfway comm hanged.. zzz.. kinda sianz. nth much going as usual.. some emotional racking, internal conflicts, faith towards God, friends, studies, family, CCA.. lol wads new? jus nid da get 'A's for 'O's and my ABs.. hehe

okie... haha tt's all ba. enjoy and take care all!! luv ya all, each and every creation of the King above all kings. <3

Switchfoot - I Dare You To Move

2007-04-15T01:50:00.000+08:00

Hihi.. jus wanna share wif all viewers dis song.. ermm it's nice, wif lyrics below, it's overwhelming. Love it mann.. esp in verse one. Enjoy!!^^

Dare You To Move lyrics

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here...

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

Wah stress.

2007-03-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

Hey wazzup guys!! Haha my blog nw become monthly post de. If ytd post, then is exactly one mth.. haha. Sian sia, this wk nid check files la, everyone tired, stressed, sianz, and full of complaints. eventually no time to do hwk or studies, then if tml tests fail then nth to say liao.. canot blame mah, wat to say la, so is still our fault. blehx. sianz...
think tt's it? nvr man.. persecution in me is neverending.. jus like everyone else's. im doing hard to just b a good Christian, but e problems jus keep coming la. wanna noe hw hard Christian life is? u haf to obey 10 commandments la.. try as u might, some may nvr get it rite at all. anyway, one of'em is to love ya neighbour, where neighbour = ppl around u, loved ones, frens, blah blah yada yada. try la, when u keep loving people but u'll jus never get close to them at all when u need to. though ppl do support, but tt's when u need to and u tell them. wat bout them coming to u? NEVER. think it's fun to b all alone everytime? seeing people at least going in pairs during recess.. haf u ever felt being alone? no one to talk to, whole day is ruined, happy things cant be shared but kept to urself.. well im nt trying to make ppl sympathise me; pls dont if u are. well wanna share abt myself, tt's all. these things cant be forced; it's stupid, like forcing someone to love u. nonsense. love needs to be developed slowly. mebbe tt's jus me, being nt caring and appreciative enuff.. mebbe i jus dont haf common interests wif ppl, tt's y few ppl can click wif me. haiz.. wat's the prob? i still dont get it y i nt feeling so DAMN sad la, at least can fork out smiles every nw and then..
jus wana tell u all viewers to appreciate all frens tt u haf rite now. one day everyone's gonna leave u, and u've gotta start anew. dont rely on ppl too much though. jus get all the love u can during this last year.. dont give no damn to competing among one another, jus live in harmony tgt for the last year to cherish, cuz these days are certainly to pass someday. for me? continue praying lo. and tt i haf to be more independent and less lazy and scared.. tt's all.

Project: Acceleration*07

2007-02-28T15:09:00.000+08:00

Wow.. so long nvr touch my blog le, yet ppl still tag by, im so touched T_T.. haha i mean ^^ yesh lol. Gt sick today, but wats more impt, was tt i couldnt stay or i'd implode and go crazy... Omg wads happening to me?! Seriously nid help.. viewers if u haf the heart and the kindness can tag ur comments ^^
haiz.. so far my studies were still bad. nvr did plan my time well... wth me. haiz, my fault. Ok, so tt's one. Then there's the demotivating devil ringing in my head to slack, like now, tt's y i writing ma blog, so not wasting time, at least ppl can see.. hah. oso there's the heart-killer. to be frank rite, i hate my position more and more.. always feel stressed de.. gib u bigger clue ba, always feel sian canot talk to ppl.. well some of u dont think so, so be it.. i'll jus find others to share. If only i were to make a sacrifice and move to zhengkang's place.. too painful ba. ermm ok i like putting probs out lidat, haha. anyway, sometimes cant stand form teacher, but today ok ok la, mebbe my impression towards her changed a bit, or cuz previously it was jus depression, tt's y canot stand her nagging ba.. haha she like so caring towards me today, but as a class canot la.. i'm so confused @_@ .. haha.. alot of things la, even virtuality cant explain my heart. for me, i jus pray everything be alrite ba, meanwhile i shld start planning and stop slacking.. sometimes oso jus help ppl on their journey.. gosh, only at her presence then i stress.. o y Lord?
VISION 2007: ACCELERATE!! new visions, new goals, new strategies, new fruits!! Dont give up, stay strong, be faithful; it produces patience.
~one word summary: help~

Day power

2007-02-04T01:25:00.000+08:00

long tym no touch blog le... did some major construction tt lasted barely 1/2 hr... muahahaha... lol jking... life seems to b starting to turn a new leaf... and it's nt bad, but quite hard too. i jus hope and pray tt everything b alrite ba...
a day like dis comes like once in a while la. morn is drum prac, but i no choice haf to go, cuz haf to meet up wif bros at dhoby. was 1 hr late xP, but they understand... don't u, guys? haha lurve u all, *muackzz* lol ok i mustn't b too lame. anyway, i prefer to disclose the location in case... nvm. afta tt we gave yenxi a surprise la (Thea's fren =] ). was so funi lor!!! haha lmao.. i mean at the prank, nt her.. haha wat a cool cell grp.
headed to church, praise & worship, sermon, fellowship and hangout, then dinner le... time passes fast when ur enjoying.. haha. sad at first, but guess wat? we headed back to church afta tt!!! woot~ at church some of us listen to songs played by alton on da acoustic... so nice and relaxing, then weehoe, thea, 1 more person, and 1 were like 'pooling'.. lol more fun nia... cuz i won both wif teammate de =) muahahaha... lol jking jking, sry if i nt too humble, but every now and then must celeb a bit mah rite? lol it's nth la... cuz i oso nub ma.. we all nubs =) afta a game/2 some of us + me prayed la... at first is like 3 ppl only, then suddenly grow to many many nia... mus thnk those guys for enhancing His presence... yay~ it's so anionting la... and powerful... esp when ppl shout in tt language... anyway, realy lurve my church bros and sis.. haha thnks for everything man... oso thnk u Norman for bringing me here la, if nt i duno wat i'd b doing now... plucking leaves? lol.. realy lurve tt prayer session... and everything else at tt time..
reached at home at abt 12mn... and then until now =) haha dis is quite a cool moment... hope it motivates me to initialise a momentum... understand ma? can decipher? hope u can... u readers all so smart mah.. haha... cya someday y'all!!! saya keluar barris~

2006-12-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

2006 is closing in... up nxt is 2007, our showdown year. o lvls la, for some hu nt quite sure. recently i discovered i had nt been realy into studying, and my hwk were incomplete... haiz... about a week left to sch reopening, stil nid to prepare for cca orientation and campfire. curse me for my luck for being an SPL... duno y MOE alow points to b deducted via cca and affliation.. it's quite unfair la, come to think of it. tt's y i have to persevere both scouts and drum lo.
my hols were somehow fully occupied la, for cca and church and outings, so hwk veri hard to find time do... but all these excuses la, in the end stil blame myself for bad time management... blah blah. today i camped at sam's hse from ytd, where i chiong from bugis to my hse then to his hse again, on da way walked someone home, then reached home like... 9pm?! omg late late liao, chiong to sam's hse ar!!! in the end, go dere jus to b a bit bored and play halo2 thru the nite until like 6am. until now still feel a bit regretful..
afta dis gt a bit mood swing oso... hai... realised i had so much to do. tot tt afta the camp can at least rest for sometime, but NO... still gt camp orientation de thing prep and campfire... trying to flood my head wif songs of praise and worship to calm down and clear my mind, but too tired to do anything though. do my best ba, jiayou ba!! haha.. ytd actually damn HIGH de, but today slightly below mediocre... blehx xP.. aww.. jus pray tt everything'd b managed rite on time...

ambivalence

2006-12-11T20:58:00.000+08:00

accepted christ. afta tt, then wat? wat is happening to me? the devil.. is it's jus me? omg, guess im becoming more of samson... NONONO. haiz... so many things to take care of... even during prayers i still cant feel GOD... ?!?! howeva, suddenly listen to those worship songs... suddenly so calm. ohmygosh... wad's wif me?
mebbe it's still becuz of my own worries... tips, anyone? cuz i dont think i can even hold on lidat. everytime see myself restrict from the others, *ugh* ... duno y i cant talk oso... true... so i should still jus try b more open.
or mebbe it's jus i nt used to being disciplined. nt willing to sacrifice some things for God... esp one of the 3 Gs mentioned... dont want to say lidat, but u'll noe. mebbe cuz i jus nid 2 b loved and to love, jus to haf tt person to help, serve, depend, trust... of jus to haf more frens which i currently unable to. still, tips anyone? pls help... *ugh*..

Relieved, but not so relieved

2006-12-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

lols... 1 wk of rushing ova, but gt another wk coming... gotta eudure, JY! hahas lol i sound stupid...
went to church event today, a.k.a 24. 24 hrs of non-stop worshipping service to all participants!! isnt tt cool?! lol, i didnt stay ova nite.. haha i spoiled it. fun man... kena converted, screamed like nvr b4, sang like so damn hard, now sore throat >.< ... guess some things come wif consequences...
so a part of burden was lifted.. suddenly reach home then sian... duno wat happened, but sth felt missing lidat... suddenly so lonely... mus ask god y is so. sian, no mood to write oso... guess dis is da best i can do.
1st step of my life changed. now mus cont to serve so He will bless us all in faith, and... waaah stress sia, still nid manage scouts and studies... (calm down man~) signing off~

falling back down... cant be

2006-12-06T21:47:00.000+08:00

sian arhhhh... ... ... ... ... ... ... hols lidat gone so fast, if i carry on lidat, might as well ready to prepare for sch early, cuz hols will end soon. wtf lar... so many things to concern... head if nt burst then is explode, or implode. haiz
today kena scolded by mr lee... haiz wtf; nth to say, cuz is nt his fault, is mine... so sad man, and helpless, hope it's not hopeless yet... afta join vacational bible sch at HOGc, then v busy, still nid do dis do tt... sekali i become plan maniac. esp fone calls to make... hate tt fucking part man, fone bill 'boom' liao lar, plus too lazy to msg... so sucky, wa lau hand and fingers tired liao lar msg msg msg... wish i could jus scream my lungs out. then some more afta msg then if gt amendments mus call again... wtffff man...
about church. still couldnt feel wat is known as 'presence of God'. should i b christian mah? my parents object leh, i myself haf doubts bout God, but i wana feel God, wana feel sth diff, wana haf my life changed and break free from being a fucking shy introvert. hate being tt... always go somewhere then diam diam... dare nt speak out... haiz.... then recently i oso signed up for courses in church... too bad lar my fault oso, should i haf known bout my position and schedule tt i may reconsider... too late.. no pt in it. getting impatient in feeling for God... wat to do? duno lor, try to reach out for frens but sometimes jus v hard to do so... mebbe i should jus try QT and read bible... haiz back to square one.
aiya since so many things most probs come from these lo... since seldom go out wif frens sure haf no probs wif them de, cuz wan to quarrel oso canot meet face to face, oso canot quarrel on fone mah, fone bill burst. worse still, NO WAY MSG-ing man, hate it. jus makes me crush my fone. wish it's nt too late for God or some other mystical person to save me... ~waiting on euu~

Youth Camp yeah~

2006-11-24T21:06:00.000+08:00

wondering where i was past few days ago? aiya, actually some of ur noe liao, went for dis youth camp organised by Heart Of God Church!!! *clap clap* ahahaaha LOL... too bad was a day camper, but was fun anyways. didnt get to achieve wat i wanted dere... but at least gt like 1% completed.
~~{::*1st Day*::}~~
^^ nice ma? LOL... anyway, first day was basically assembling teams, so afta everything finish we had free and easy time la, aww so sad, nvr had chance to bond wif team members... sad... but played bball wif some others. truthfully, they not bad la, some even beta than me, which is like, so normal rite? i mean, someone's always beta than u rite? there's no perfect person though xP. Haha... then took a bath which mus queue up de, and went to church for nite service.

Sermon: Build your own altar.

In-depth: Stay on your fixed stand. Do not abandon it because of peer pressure or external pressure and continue serving it's purpose.

went out for dinner afta tt, which is like 10pm, then reach home like 2330 hrs liao... so late. lucky still can wake up nxt day for day 2...

~~{::*2nd Day*::}~~
report to camp @ 9am?! omg [oh my goodness; dont get me wrong :)] anyway, lucky morn gt teacm activity, and it was the 'Amazing Race'!! initially we were like O_O, then became >.<, no la, jk jk, is become =), lols. we gt like 7 objectives la...

1 > Buy a bread from breadtalk named 'nan chi'.
2 > Find this place given the clue 'I say simon, you say blind'.
3 > O_O oops forgot...
4 > aiya so long liao... forget all these

sry, couldnt cont, my memo failing me >.< . LOL we smuggled food from old chang kee into the MRT, and one of our members kena nagged by a foreign old lady... omg [again, dont get me wrong xD] (foreign as in we nvr c b4 de)... feel so suay and paiseh... but wth. i forgot to check da results >.< ... same thing lar, aftanoon we go makan, then free and easy.. played more bball and lost more times. sia la, no defense de, and we lost, but ova liao lerrs.. LOL. same old thing, we went 2 bathe later and went to church for another nite service.

Sermon: Qns 1> Are you ready for the spiritual wind to hit you?
2> How big is your heart to receive the wind?
3> For how long are you going to accept God?

In-depth: Nothing to say, read ^top^.

Dis time even later... we departed from church @ 2230 hrs, went to newton circus to makan, budden all seafood de sia... mebbe except 1 or 2 chicken rice stalls... poor me, lucky managed to find a chicken rice stall amidst de others... *phew* eventually reached home at 0030 hrs next day?! omg [lol, sry but get used to it, it's *goodness*], lucky tml no nid report back liao... *whew*...
thursday was like so worn out, overslept and unable to go out... practically stayed at home all day >.< , well mebbe except played some bball solo downstairs my blk. aiya, used to it liao, no nid sympatising. LOL, it's a euphemism for pitying.. haha... tt's all for dis wk... next few days are just scouts and drum...
come to think of it, i think our scout cum drum unit is seperating finally... but it gibs me countless headaches la... wat to choose??? confirm y'all say drum de la, or some will try to help me by saying things i knew, thank y'all for ur help =D .. it's still my friggin decision... hmmmmm.... dis will take a pretty looooooooooooooooooong time to choose a path...
[recall: Sermon, build my own altar...] wish me luk, and thx for hearing me out xD, tt's y i even blog~

out and back

2006-11-18T12:45:00.000+08:00

quite long time nvr touch blog le... past few days i was outta singapore, well not too far away. I was at cruise la, going to kuala lumpur then back. lucky nth happened, as in ship sinking, or earthquake, tsunami, thunderstorm.... omg touchwood xP
the ship is so damn huge lo!! max capacity is 1960 passengers. we stayed at the balcony suite.. so shiok!!! can see the sea in ur own cabin. first day we checked in like 9 plus.. and stayed at the top deck to view the ship's departure.. too bad everything was dark, so except for some distant lights from Jurong island and their pollution, it was pitch darkness.
tt nite was the first time i sang karoake... yar it's pretty pathetic and dumb for me to sing it for the first time in my entire life, but wth. COOL MAN!!!! but sad, all songs i noe are eng de, and most eng songs are like edited, not the ones u hear presently. example is BSB the 'i want it that way', so high pitch and fast lo, some more is sang by a gal de... O_O . sang for an hr, turned in at 3am.
guess wat? next day, woke up at 6 plus to see sun rise, but missed it... aww :'( , but wth.. haha.. most of the time we do was to eat, eat and eat, cuz the food dere is like almost free, as we paid beforehand, and expenses were cut off from our access cards, so no real cash is needed to pay for anything. played a bit of bball dere, and then the ship docked at KL. we didnt go down at first, but when we did, i was like so bored and moody, cuz i rather spend time at da cabin slping. haha lazy me. afta tt, of cuz i went back cabin to slp.. to clear my moodiness, which worked. yay~ nth much oso, only enjoyed another nite session of karoake =) . this time at least gt 1 song tt is correctly pitched, one love by blue. 'one love, for the mother's pride, one love, for the times we've cried, one love, gotta stay alive, i will survive...' yea man luv tt song, even though i offtune abit... cant blame me, only my 2nd time... xP
haha last day liao, gotta EAT more!!!! LOL, went to spend off last $200 in jap restaurant, aww so ex~ b4 tt we went for jacuzzi and swimming... SO NICE!! ~ docked at singapore at 1315pm, then only received like 2 smses, but heck care tt. feel very tired, but afta arrival, i went to CG for fun, and it was!!

Sermon: Look things at god's point of view. See things which are unseen. Faith in god determines this.

Easy: Just aim for things beyond your limit, and work for it. Do not give up.

cant believe some frens actually tot i was 16++ years old.. do i look tt old??? hmm... *shrugs* haha, at least im growing... someone even tot i was a poly student...
reached home at 7pm, and couldnt believe i slpt at 2200.. early man. dont feel like going windsurfing today... total 'wornage' man.. haha wadeva tt means... lol signing off ~~

1111o7

2006-11-12T12:46:00.000+08:00

Back again... today is quite a gd and bad day. one of the coldest day in the world... man it freezes the heart. wish my heart could freeze and stop so no nid to worry so much alwaes...
went for windsurfing course today.. at national sailing center... wtf, that's like so faaaaaaaaaaaar!! yea still can reach la, overall, singapore such a little red dot.. so it's nth =]. walk halfway there then.. oh sh!t, needa go toilet and sh!t!!! aww.... lucky i can hold... xP. b4 tt mus take bus 858 to changi, then 36 to ECP... which is like so damn long. starting of the course was like, swimming competition.. aww. so long nvr swim liao, arms tml sure cramp de xP. we lost, i and mie fren.. so sad, but wth. anyway, afta tt he left and i stayed, and i tot i was leaving so nvr eat lunch... strange thing was i could last to 6pm from then, which was about 12nn!! lol... to b frank, i sux at windsurfing. the basic course didnt help much, and others were like so pro, but i m like at the bottom... one day ended lidat... lucky gt fren can hitch me ride home... whew~
VERY BAD THING = I LOST MY SPECS CUZ OF STUPID FALL!! wtf man, not up to 3mths then lose... mus go smash my head on da wall for nt getting spectacle band... haiz
missed a lot of things cuz of this, didnt go church, didnt go perf, which is gd, didnt go bienalle... hope the course worth it ba...
LOL havent do hw.. mus start ler, later go lib.. haha

2006-11-01T17:31:00.000+08:00

Liao.. so long nvr update blog liao... sry sry.. but hu cares... lol i nid to change. Boring rite? the same template for mths liao... haha nvm. many things changed, and it's after exams.
Sian lars, extended programme... now too much holiday mood, how to absorb info? omg.. mus go wake myself up, smash my head against de wall.. lols. studyy!!! osoo too much stress.. guess i induced them to myself de.. wth.. must stand back up again. recently gt probs again, wth, mus nt b too silent nia... x -> xD.. -_-" yaya..
haiz sian... mus make more frens le.. lol i feel so awkward man.. say here. stupid nia, but wat de heck.. haiz...

Relaxation? Nah...

2006-10-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

Exam ova liao.. yay~ for dis moment only lar.. haiz.. still gt scouts and all. nvm, mus nt worry too much first. smiles =]
Last paper ish chem.. and it's even on fri 13th. ?!?!! hahas can la.. not too negative bout it. yea~ after last paper can finally breathe like nvr b4.. the weight of the world lifted off me shoulders.. but mus stay back for sch grad ceremony rehearsal.. boring~ feel like spamming keyboard now.. - aeiwughaiwjghiouagnarawrigbvuqiweytruibqwvuietwaeawyha1eryh5
3aer4h52aer23uh53ae4r6tg4aw634t634wea63y4g635ewa4635g4t3awe4
t3q24336t4334YT#YTQ$Y^$%4 4b4 y34wa356y456y34 - ok feel beta;
at home oso nth to do. tt day 3 plus dismiss, then reach home at 4, do nth except play com, how boring. yawn~~ kinda miss sec4 scouts though..
nth to rite too. dont feel like writing. ---- end transmission ----

Struggling

2006-10-01T21:56:00.000+08:00

arrrr!! my head wan burst liao.. sooo many subjects yet untouched... omg wat m i gona do??! ehhh... (inhaling & exhaling deeply) kk calm down le.. haha diaoz.
exams cuming dis fri liao... ish amaths and eng. amaths canot cope graphs, eng duno hw study.. even if start now too late le.. 3 words a dae? i think by the time will b like 12 words? wat the hell can 12 words do compared to other 100000000++ words out dere?! LOL... mus relax.. whew.. kk can le.
da more u cant figure it out, da more u haf to focus on it. heard tt from Adam Khoo.. sekali u do until can score 99 marks liao den last qn is da one u didnt revise de.. tt pathetic 1 marks buai buai..
shared my views wif this 12-yr old gal hu haf probs wif her luv life. sia la.. 12 yrs old gt stead alrdy, wif dis NT guy.. hope they wont wisit here... LOL xp. used my first post on her.. hahahahahahaha.. m i kind-hearted or wat? lols jkjk, can vomit lar yaya wadeva. omg.. wat is dis world becuming to? "Is everybody gona be crazy... ..." - Simple Plan, 'Crazy'.
watch this-it's not okay~
now i realize soo long nvr update blog liao.. unlike most of da bloggers hu do tt everyday.. haiz paiseh ><>

anticipation

2006-09-21T18:13:00.000+08:00

yoyo~ 2 more weeks to exams le, so all the best to all!! dont lose out, and do ya best!! today nt so bad la, even though gt a bit, but dissipate liao. all thx to this someone!! (relax, is a boy)
sry ar, i cant help it but to insert lyrics into my blog... scared nvr update ma. quite bulky la, now my blog become like so wasted lidat... LOL. BTW, tt lyrics can be obtained from http://www.plyrics.com/ , so dont say tt i steal ppl's lyrics hor!! im gona print another of those.. lol.
cant explain tt unusual brightness in myself today. so cheerful, even though we kena mdm sue lecture again... haiz.. but wth. do i wan her back? hmmm.... tough tough tough.. ehh..well ya, dont wish to b taken by mrs chia again... aww man... hope not. very confused and stressed by all these, and studies. omg... i dont even noe wat i have revised... aww sh!t. mus motivate myself to study..........
ok! time's up liao.. gtg.. and wish all viewers and frens, esp 3Js, gd luck in the upcoming exams!!! make the very FINAL leap and tt's it... can relax a bit.

Good Charlotte - We Believe

2006-09-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

GOOD CHARLOTTE LYRICS

"We Believe"

There's a woman crying out tonight

Her world has changed

She asks God why

Her only son has died

And now her daughter cries

She can't sleep at night

Downtown

Another day for all the suits and ties

Another war to fight

There's no regard for life

How do they sleep at night

How can we make things right?

Just wanna make this right

We believe

In this love

We are all the same

Human in all our ways and all our pain

(So let it be)

There's a love that could fall down like rain

(Let us see)

Let forgiveness wash away the pain

(What we need)

And no one really knows what they are searching for

(We believe)

This world is crying for so much more

We believe

In this love

We believe

In this love

So this world

Is too much

For you to take

Just lay it down and follow me

I'll be everything you need

In every way

We believe

In this love

(In this love)

We believe

(In this love)

We believe

(In this love)

We believe

(In this love)

Thanks to Abby Lewis (abbyallister@hotmail.com) for these lyricsThanks to Sarah (esarah1990@aol.com), punx_25@hotmail.com for correcting these lyrics, and http://www.plyrics.com/ for providing these lyrics.

2006-09-14T22:49:00.000+08:00

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jvdkuyp/flash/see.htm
check it out!!!~ it's lame, cool, funny, stupid, innovative, fantastic, blah blah everything positive u can think of. helps in destressing xD

2nd day aft sch reopen

2006-09-12T19:05:00.000+08:00

Actually, sch nvr did close.. y i say lidat? becuz i nid go back sch from wed in the hols to sun!! wth.. hw nt done finish yet, then time oso hard to manage for me.. nth i can do. exams cuming like about 3 wks time (i brought out 1 more wk so tt i can panic)..
Tues. Went to sch per normal, just to find sam MC for about.. quite some time. Get well soon!!! we miss euu~ anyway, have to start to push myself beyond my limits and make thru the final stretch of dis yr.. come to think of it, i still nid a lot of revising.. (heard tt gerard? wat u still doing here?!) all my amaths and physics formulae all return back to teacher liao, must fight for them back.. and my VALUES, lol dun nid say. Stress keeps cuming back, and u have to constantly ease it.
Sian.. my height still not progressing... after a bit of survey, leaders around my height wont get much respect and attention from ppl de.. like me lar, walau puberty so fast ova, jump now oso no use... blehx, no pt crying ova spilled milk.
(Done enuff le ma, gerard? get ur ass crackin' and revise lar!!!)

days of daze

2006-09-08T22:54:00.000+08:00

omg... i cant go on lidat. morn wake up sooo early and carry some idiotic heavy stuff to sch... using the MRT train... wth arms all sore liao. now my eyes cant help but close... y m i trapped in this hell?! some more is hols leh, y canot slp more?
by rite, first few days nt so bad la, but last 5 days canot slack... consecutive scouting days.. wth. plus some of da days all filled wif tests. hope can pass my cook badge !!xD Esp on thurs... one whole day almost stand under the sun, omg... tio sunburn sia!! tt one npnp la, but at nite i gt sick.. duno y too, but i think is just common cold la. back to this, today is cook test... almost canot start fire, so almost wana 'cry' and go home. lolx. in the end, nt quite we expected la, Raymond sae can pass but must have report... then we sort of 'O_O' !! tml and day after tml is drumming lo, for duno wat japanese cultural exhibition thing at vic threatre... think mus b reali grand dere... and m i going to b center again? cool~~
sian.. hols going ova liao... no more late nites and hol mood.. mus really hit the books really hard in an expression, not literally la, then no excuses!! mus remind myself.. -no pain, no gain- , -u wont lose when u fail, but u lose when u give up- , blah blah...

04092006... im a big boy le

2006-09-04T23:38:00.000+08:00

lol.. today is a special and INDELIBLE day, nt only tio scammed by 'i-forgot-my-wallet' trick, but oso a series of nostalgia (hapi ones).

went to fren's hse, oblivious to the fact tt everyone was dere. felt a bit paisei cuz it was held at sam's hse, nt mine. All his resources and effort spent on mi.. so touched and grateful... thanks man, for making mi 15th bdae a memorable one. mebbe nxt year i should thank u, or mebbe on ur bdae!! lol

had a wonderful time tadae, with myself, sam, paul, caroline, tinghui, wenyan, jia lin, huiqi, and wingki. da whole day was about fun, eat, FUN, EAT, and talkcock. hehe.. thx for spending e day together!! y'all rawks!! cool~~ we interacted a lot and yea, it was way cool and sweet!!~~ mebbe we can form a 'clan' xP

i dont mind about presents actually, but gt a few precious ones... a shirt, then pillow, then a book, and a hair-gel-in-a-test-tube de, but it sort of break and.. sad. but nvm la... as long gt show appreciation, i vv hapi liao.

once again, thx for all the time, efforts, resources, and laughs we shared on this day... i feel extremly relaxed and forgot most of my probs.. luv y'all~~

Pessimistic again...

2006-08-31T18:26:00.000+08:00

another period of time had passed, since . In the end, nth has been achieved. wat is becuming of me?? Nth feels rite anymore... wana take da risk and break away...
did a survery outta myself.. :
-- stupid. compared 2 even da most average ppl, i cant compete them... no interests to share, no events or topics to relate, disscuss, and share, im too inknowlegdable. It's still tt i have no initiative and work attitude towards things in life, toooooo lazy to even find my thing. HAIZ~~~~~
-- no positive attributes. find myself in nowhere, not progressing but degrading... have no confidence, self-esteem, common-sense, initiative, no nth.. haiz feel so fucked up rite now. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- bad attributes. selfishness, shyness, every-bad-attribute-ness. nth much in me, so left out, so unnoticed... dont even noe how to get attention from ppl... wat else is dere in me??

Dont feel like doing anything, but if i dont, den oso canot live lidat. i seriously nid counselling... and to find my thing... come to think of it, i feel myself as a damn lousy useless melancholic outcast.

!Recovering~

2006-08-01T20:34:00.000+08:00

Yay... can cool down le. Morn went for PE, and so so cool cuz we dont have to run!!! Plus, tadae hooped in lots of 3-pts. so shiok!!! Then later gt drum performance, but i nt in. Instead, i nid go IC them.. so cool!! Nah, tt's da EZ part. Then after sch went for NE seminar. during the guest-of-honour speech, i dozed off, then almost fell of tt stupid chair!!!! LOL, stupid me. after this i went for dinner wif jasmine, olivia, plus rayner. poor rayner kena bullied by us!! Sry rayner. Hehe... tadae wasnt such a bad day after all, in fact it was quite cool, and boring. LOL

Guess not all daes r so bad after all. ytd was just tt some unfortunate events popped up in front of mi face. Just nid more time to cherish and love myself, and oso to build up confidence. Thx for all supporters behind me(in fact only 2, i think... pathetic rite? hence my webby ;] ), and hope more ppl will come... but wish tt wont criticise lar!! i noe some ppl would... LOL aiya canot b so paraniod, haha. Alrite, cya then!!!

Dying~

2006-08-01T15:23:00.000+08:00

Eva since i kena promoted, days of hapiness and delightfulness faded away... all seemed like nolstagia instead of my future... haiz...

Y m i behaving in this way? Y cant i b like others, alll like being 'somebody', while im like a 'nobody'. Everyone else had higher self-esteem than me, and has a wider circle of frens, but Y CANT I BE JUST LIKE THEM?! im just like a person wif deformed emotions and personality, cant do anythin rite, naturally emotionally scarred person for life... am i gona contd living on lidat?!!!! rite now im going mad wif '!!!' all around... !!!!!!!!!!!! Everytime i try to turn to some1, he/she is absent... wheneva i gt sth to present or tell sum1, their shadows remained instead of their body. Sia la.. concludes tt i have no pure frens at all... even if gt one, all good things must end, not say tt end totally, but tt kind of pure frenship wont last... cant blame them.. it's all my fault. WAT THE F**K CAN I DO??!!!!???!!

Now i pressured under CCA and more CCA. Eva since after promotion to top lead, many things changed. The sec4s keep telling dont stress, but nvr sae how. Die le la.. lidat will fail to lead de lo... looks like my future is collapsing rite in front of me... BOOOOMMMMM~~~~

Wat's my plan? I cant wait, but given my low self-esteem, i cant do anything oso... nid more motivation... everyday listen techno? PUI!!! Siao lar lidat... see? i have no idea... pls help, if nt i dont mind suiciding one day... arrr touchwood.

Haiz... pls break the lines...

2006-07-13T19:59:00.000+08:00

13/7/06. This day is supposed to b one of the beta days i've experienced. Nvr knew such thing would pop outta da last minute. Wat can i do now?? sigh~

Started out as a good sch day. Nth wrong or special going on. Had to report to hall for assembly, and had nice programs. Then it happened. Somewhere back in our class had a bit of conflict. Of cuz, no one was supportive of tt. Well, it wasnt tt bad until later someone from H complained(let the class have 2 parts, namely D and H, no biasedness intended) about the D side out loud (no offence). The D side of the class countered and resulted as conflict.

Dont feel like toking about it... so much thought and anxiety... WTF

Was I even included? where shuld i stand? should i even be standing? so many thoughts in my mind, and stress came looking back for me. One tiny meeny weeny eeny stupid mistake and bye bye to me frens, and yet i m careless. Wat shuld i do? HAIZ~

Ermm... hi?

2006-02-26T15:32:00.000+08:00

Hi... this is my first time writing a blog on tis blogger. My slang may b quite poor... lol... but pls dun slp!! Eii... nth much to say coz many mths didnt post blog on my prev blog site liao... and futhermore, i duno wad features they hav... so might as well get used to it now..